What happens in fiction stays in fiction

Mark Gibson

Some fictional places are just too good to be true, while on the other hand, thankfully, some fictional places aren’t real at all.  Last week we compiled a list of the top 10 fictional places we wished were real. But after the UP staff made that list, we began to think about the places we’re relieved don’t exist.  We may find some fictional places entertaining and exciting in the context of the movie or television show we are watching. But in reality, we would be terrified to actually be there. It’s a relief knowing that places like those don’t actually exist. Or so we hope.  Assuming that everything on this list is in fact fake, here is the UP’s top 10 places we are glad don’t exist:

 

01 Jigsaw’s Warehouse

This is the place we would be most terrified finding ourselves trapped in. For six movies, we have witnessed people being tortured by Jigsaw in insane contraptions he built in his warehouse. There is always a way out, but not without a price. Cutting through your eye with a scalpel to get a key is beyond intense. You win, Jigsaw. You win.

 

02 Torture Factory from Hostel

This is one of those places that we can only hope is fictional. The hostel itself seemed quite delightful. But nay nay. It’s a trap. The hot girls are a front for a torture factory designed for sick people that get off on physically tormenting and killing humans. Disgusting and terrifying.

 

03 Davy Jones’ locker

Essentially, when sailors talked about Davy Jones’ locker, they were referring to the bottom of the sea. Doesn’t sound so bad, right? Wrong. Davy Jones was a metaphor for the devil, and the locker was a reference to hell. A sailor who died at sea was said to go to Davy Jones’ locker. Since no one who has ever drowned at sea has ever come back to tell anyone otherwise, this one leaves us a little concerned that it might be real.

 

04 The Unicomplex

The Unicomplex was the place where the half-organic, half-robot race known as the Borg, came from in the Star Trek universe. The Borg were determined to make everyone in the galaxy just like them because, as far as they were concerned, the Borg were far superior beings. Naturally, any race that has that goal is extremely violent and deadly. The Unicomplex is one place you would never want to find yourself.

 

05 Room 1408

From the haunting mind of Stephen King, room 1408 was a hotel room that was beyond evil. Whoever stayed there not only got pestered by apparitions, but was mentally tortured as the room never seemed to let you leave. Even if you tried to escape through the window and thought you were completely out, you would end up back in the room. The onslaught of mental torture you would endure in room 1408 would drive you utterly insane and leave you a crippled shell of your former existence.

 

06 Temple of Doom

Indiana Jones makes everything look so easy. But the Temple of Doom is not a place you would ever want to find yourself. A place of essentially devil worship, the high priest can literally take your heart out of your chest and watch it burn as you are lowered into a pit of fire. Not exactly the ideal vacation destination.

 

07 World outside the Matrix

While the Matrix itself is like a giant virtual reality video game that we really wish existed, the real world outside of it is terrifying. Robots taking over humans seems to be a common doomsday theme, but The Matrix portrays one of the more horrible scenarios. In the real world, we do have blue pills, but those tend to take you further from reality. Not closer to it.

 

08 The Island

You may have been a big fan of the show, but let’s be real. “The Island” is a horrible place. Not only would you never be found, but if you somehow managed to make it back to civilization, you would be forced to return to the tropical hell hole. Oh yeah, and the island travels through time, which gives you an insane headache, nose bleed and eventual death. Real fun.

 

09 Wonderland

A world from the mind of Lewis Carroll, Wonderland was obviously the result of an intense acid trip. Alice seemed to handle things pretty well, but if it were real, well … that’s just a scary thought. A talking bunny, a creepy, smiling cat, and humanoid playing cards is a little too intense.

 

10 Sid’s room

There are probably kids out there who actually treat their toys like Sid does in Toy Story. But we can take comfort in the fact that Sid is not a real person and toys do not come to life. The whole robot baby head thing is just really creepy. However, if it were real and you were a toy, Sid’s room would be like a trip to Jigsaw’s warehouse. So for toys, this would be their No. 1.