Florida Atlantic University's first student-run news source.


Florida Atlantic University's first student-run news source.


Florida Atlantic University's first student-run news source.


If Kerry gets elected, liberation for the liberals

Year one

Kerry and Edwards waste no time raising taxes on the upper middle class and upper class. They generate over $700 billion dollars for their trillion dollar programs, including the National Healthcare Plan which, like Hillary Clinton’s plan, will ultimately fail. Anyone with a calculator knows that $700 billion doesn’t cover trillion-dollar programs, and the middle class knows what’s coming.

Year two

Taxes are raised on the middle class! No shock there, and the Hair Spray twins attempt to spin it by explaining how raising taxes helps everyone else. Kerry’s job approval rates plummet. Meanwhile, his “10 million job” creation plan has failed to generate more than two million. In foreign policy, France and Germany continue to refuse to send support to Iraq, as well as the UN. Kerry keeps blaming Bush. Troop morale falls due to Kerry’s continued insistence that the Iraqis must be trained “faster.”

Year three

The Supreme Court has some new faces, and they’re liberals-no shock there. Gun control is so strong even purchasing a water gun brings a two-week waiting period and registration. On the foreign policy front, Afghanistan continues to make in-roads to stability thanks to the existing Bush policy. Iran, however, pushes forward with their nuclear weapons program. They know Kerry won’t do anything, so the U.S. is not their concern. North Korea thinks the same way. So does Pakistan, which is considering breaking its alliance with the U.S. because of the weakness of John Kerry. Kerry looks to France for help.

Year four

With high taxes, a weak foreign policy plan, and nothing to show for that healthcare program, and only four million of the promised 10 million jobs being created, John Kerry’s re-election outlook is bleak. Israel has all but given up on the U.S. as an ally, and have taken matters into their own hands in dealing with Iran.

Thanks to Kerry, the next large scale, multi-country war is about to occur in the Middle East.The Republicans could run a baboon and win this election, but instead run Rudy Guliani and Tommy Franks, and win in an easy landslide victory. Order will now be restored to the world.

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