4 weirdest ways to ask your RA for a condom

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Kathryn Wohlpart

Health clinics, doctors offices, Target. Those are all normal places to get condoms. Even asking your roommate for one is normal.

But I’m not here to tell you about the norm. I’m a Resident Assistant so I supervise a hall of freshmen girls, and I see a bunch of strange things. Let me tell you, nothing is stranger than the way students try to get condoms.

Here’s the four strangest ways I’ve been asked for a condom (which RAs don’t even have by the way):

1. The Thumper

The Thumper came knocking late at night (or early in the morning). I opened my door expecting it to be a resident from my all female hall coming to tell me that she’d locked herself out (which happens often).

Instead I opened the door to a male. In a towel. Nothing but a towel.

He asked for some “protection.” I’m not sure which one of us was feeling more awkward about the situation and I wasn’t the one in the towel.

I played it cool, like seeing a guy in a towel standing in my hallway wasn’t anything new.

I told him he can grab condoms from the front desk. He said thanks with a nervous laugh and shuffled off down the hall.

I’m not sure if he made it to the front desk, but he did make it all the way to the stairs in that towel.

2. The Wanderer

The wanderer was doing just that, wandering down the hall and asking everyone he came across if they had a condom (for over an hour).

And I mean everyone. Even the parents who were visiting their children.

3. The Shouter

A twist of the door knob followed by a face peeking out from behind the door — “Hey dudes! You got a condom?”

It took me a few minutes to realize that I wasn’t being directly asked. The question was more like a cry for help to the entire hall because shortly after, a door across the way swung open and a wrapper went flying.

4. The Front Desk Friskers

Don’t worry ladies, you made it onto my list as well. A box with “condoms” scribbled on the side sits on the front desk of the lobby. This is the target of the front desk friskers.

Usually, an innocent young lady asks me to get something from the back room to draw me away from the desk for long enough to snatch a condom from the box. Then when I turn around, I see the hand-in-the-cookie-jar look followed by something along the lines of, “These are free, right?”

Whether you are a Target shopper or a “thumper,” I say hold your head high and go out looking for those condoms. It makes a good story for me and you’re making the effort to protect yourself.

According to the Center for Disease Control website, “Nearly half of the 20 million new sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) diagnosed each year are among young people aged 15–24 years.” Condoms, when used correctly, can help prevent the spread of STDs.

Remember you can always get free condoms on the Boca Raton campus from Today and Beyond Wellness (Health Services Building Room 222) and Student Health Services (Health Services Building Room 240), but not from my dorm at 3 a.m.