Maddy’s Movies: This is the end… no really, it’s the end. The summer’s funniest end-of-the-world movie

Maddy Mesa

Six actors must survive the apocalyptic world outside while trying not to kill one another in “This Is The End,” a movie starring Seth Rogen and James Franco, now playing. Art courtesy of Sony Pictures Entertainment.
Six actors must survive the apocalyptic world outside while trying not to kill one another in “This Is The End,” a movie starring Seth Rogen and James Franco, now playing. Art courtesy of Sony Pictures Entertainment.

Wow. When they say “this is the end,” they really mean it.

“This Is the End,” written and directed by Evan Goldberg and Seth Rogen (“Pineapple Express” and “Super Bad”), is one hell of a movie. Seriously, it’s rapture time and all the good souls have already been brought up to heaven –– while the not so morally-sound souls are forced to figure out what the fuck is going on.

“This Is the End” is probably the one of most realistic apocalyptic movies I have seen. Not for how the world ends, but for the fact that these actors have no idea how to survive.

“We are all soft,” Craig Robinson points out in the movie. “We only act all tough and badass.”  That much is obvious when a severed head has all the guys screaming like little girls (I’m looking at you, Jonah Hill).

But let’s back up a little. To the night of James Franco’s awesome housewarming party in L.A..

The whole cast — which includes Franco, Rogen, Hill, Robinson, Jay Baruchel and Danny McBride — play themselves, which makes their out-of-normal behavior funn.er Sweet Michael Cera is snorting coke, grabbing Rihanna’s ass and getting head from two different women at the same time.

Loveable Jason Segel complains about his role on How I Met Your Mother to Kevin Hart. “You know it’s the same thing. ‘Where’s the cake?’ Lilly asks, and I come out with frosting on my face and everyone laughs.” Hart laughs, “because you ate it!”

When shit hits the fan and the only actors left alive are Franco, Hill, Rogen, Baruchel, Robinson,and McBride, the boys quickly barricade themselves in Franco’s house and take stock of what they have. Thus ensues the funny Milky Way dialogue seen in trailers.

But there’s more to it. It’s not just silly one-liners and over-the-top drug use (even though the boys do trip hard on acid and shrooms at one point). There are also hilarious conversations about a potential sequel to Pineapple Express,” disses at Hill’s failed attempt as a serious actor (“Moneyball”), and Franco’s frustration at McBride cuming all over his porn magazine (which goes on for about three minutes).

“Didn’t you ever learn how to cum in a sock or a tissue?” Franco yells at McBride.

To keep from going crazy with cabin fever, the boys set up a video diary (courtesy of the video camera used in Franco’s “127 Hours,” which Franco makes a point to say). It’s like “The Real World” but think more ‘The Real End of the World.’

The boys record their thoughts and feelings about the other dudes in the house — “Danny McBride?” Franco says. “Yeah, fuck that guy.” — as well as some questionable acts as they begin to lose touch with reality. “I drank my own pee today,” Robinson smiles.

While the world is ending outside, the actors all have their own little struggles to deal with inside the house. Rogen and Baruchel’s friendship has been falling for apart for awhile as Baruchel hates the L.A. scene and the people Rogen hangs out with now.

This struggle offers a little bit of seriousness in this crazy comedy. Watching these two actors, –– whom I love –– I was really hoping they would mend their friendship. But with the possibility of it actually being the rapture, the gang reflect on their lives and all the bad they’ve done. “Maybe we’re still here for a reason,” Robinson points out.

This movie is not for the faint of heart. The graphics are exaggerated, with blood splatters and outrageous death scenes, like Cera being impaled by a street lamp. “Is it bad?” Cera asks. Yes Cera, you have a freaking street lamp sticking out of your chest!

There is too much blood, guts and body parts being thrown around for my taste, but boy does it ever get that surprised “holy shit” laughter out of you.

 Not only is there a lot of blood, there are penises too. No, not a sexy Franco penis but gross, demon penises. Remember, this is the rapture and apparently that means when the Devil is out walking around destroying the world, he lets everything — and I mean everything — hang loose.

The cameos throughout this movie are great. The ax-wielding Emma Watson is adorable as she demands water and supplies from the boys. But perhaps the greatest and most shocking cameo –– yes, more shocking than Cera’s drug use –– is Channing Tatum’s brief 20 second scene as McBride’s “fuck slave.” Hats off to Tatum for going all out.

Under all the blood, drugs and penises — way, way under — is an important message about friendship and doing good in your life. A message that is not missed among all the jokes, drugs and crap happening in the burning L.A.

“This Is the End” is a movie worth seeing again and again. There is so much laughter over one joke that you’ll miss the next one And there are so many cameos it’s impossible to spot all your favorite celebrities at once.

In all, “This Is the End” will make you leave the theater asking “If God calls, are you ready?” We may not know what heaven is like but it sure beats a burning landscape, cannibals, and a giant demon dick.

I give it three joints out of four. Or a B+.