Top 5: Baseball

No satisfaction1. A long baseball game is like an unsatisfying relationship: long, boring, and without much scoring.

An oxymoron2. Watching a short baseball game is like…wait, there are no short baseball games.

Fast pitchers3. Watching an FAU pitcher throw is like watching cars go by in the left hand lane of I-95 -not only can you not see it, but you feel a big gust of wind.

Where do they keep them?4. The FAU baseball team stole 60 bases last year. What I’m wondering is, where’d they put all of them?

Opposing fans5. You know what the difference between people who go to Marlins games and people who go to FAU games is? There isn’t one. In both cases, most of the fans are cheering for the other team. (Sorry guys, you’re a great team, and I don’t know why more FAU fans don’t come to games!)