A female co-worker continuously tells me that her boyfriend keeps cheating on her. More then once she’s caught the cheater’s number on his cell phone. She’s also found condoms in his wallet (they stopped using protected sex after awhile) and he leaves late at night and returns the next morning. I ask her why she is still with him and she just states, “Well, we’re not married (which they are not) so he can do whomever he wants and I’ll do the same thing.” So far my co-worker and her boyfriend have been together for the past three years and he even proposed to her this past Christmas. Is this a unique case, or is this one example of a common pattern in couple relationships in the United States? If this is a common practice this would explain why statistics show that more than half of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce.
There are those who say that the quest for “true love” is not an easy one. Others would say that love does not exist and you should just find someone you can stand who’ll give you what you want. In South Florida, my observations have led me to believe that the couples in this part of the world are made up of a woman who has a man that her friends like, gives her a lot of materialistic items, and takes her out. In return, she gives the man what he wants: sex and power. So is “love” in South Florida just an exchange of “things” and “services” for sexual pleasure coupled with the enjoyment of knowing you have someone?
At times when we’re single we look at couples and feel jealous and depressed wondering, “am I so ugly that I can’t have someone?” With such a thought in our minds, there are those who get into relationships simply to have someone and to be able to fit in with the world of couples. For this reason many abused victims stay with their abusers simply because they are afraid of being alone.
The biggest problem is that if you continuously settle in your love life, you may start settling in life in general. For having the wrong type of boyfriend or girlfriend, there are those who have quit school, settled when it came to job opportunities, and continued a “settling” chain-reaction. Peoples’ ambition in life goes down when they realize that they have someone who’ll love them no matter what they do.
After reading this article, many of you may be thinking, “Okay Mr. Know it all, then what is love?” To be honest, I couldn’t tell you because I simply do not know. From my observations and personal experiences, I can only tell you my theories. “Love” occurs between two people if both people teach and learn from each other; when each person helps the other to better him or herself. There is no right or wrong, good or bad. There are only the choices we can live with making. If you want to settle when it comes to having a boyfriend/girlfriend, go ahead. Just realize that a true love will help you accomplish your goals in life while a false one will simply slow you down.
