A sexy, Baretta-shooting assassin. A wisecracking, self-loathing alcoholic superhero whose world-saving does more damage than it stops. A cigar-puffing, red-skinned anti-hero waging a supernatural demon war. A cartoony Star Wars sequel. And finally, a magical roach of super-weed.
You’ve probably been burning these synopses into your brain since last winter. You’ve been letting it pique your movie-going habits for months because this year’s batch of escape-o-tainment promises more kickass spectacles and far less craptastic sequels. So far, FAU students have already emptied their wallets for two tech-sexy, CGI-heavy Marvel studs, Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk. (And screamed for refunds after suffering through M. Night Shyama-suck’s The Happening and the by-the-numbers Chronicles of Narnia sequel.)
But is this summer’s parade of geektastic popcorners really worth the buzz they’re creating? That’s where the University Press steps in. We’re profiling seven blockbusters from now until the fall semester that are guaranteed to have you thanking the Hollywood gods you didn’t enroll in classes this summer. Brain candy overload? We’ve got you covered there, too – check out our top-four list of low-budget independent films in the sidebar on the next page for a, well, quieter film experience.
Wanted (June 27)We get it – Wanted’s premise sounds awfully like The Matrix. 25-year-old Wes Gibson (James McAvoy) is a cubicle-dwelling nerd on his umpteenth prescription of anti-depressants. Then he smacks into the business end of Fox’s (Angelina Jolie’s) pistol. See, Fox is hell-bent on recruiting Wes into a secret society of superhuman assassins to avenge his murdered father’s death. Let’s recap: A desk monkey is approached by a trained (and super-sexy) killer and told he’s got a special destiny. Nah, that sounds nothing like The Matrix. Watch it for Jolie’s double-dose of ass-kicking.
Hancock (July 2)Ever see a homeless superhero before? You will in Hancock, Will Smith’s newest actioner. Hancock’s not a chest-puffed He-man by any means; in fact, he’s a lanky, obscenity-spitting dude who just happens to wield the ability to uppercut you into China (a boy scout he isn’t). He’s a tortured soul, and that’s why PR exec Ray Embrey (Jason Bateman) wants to clean up his image. A hundred bucks says it works.
Hellboy 2: The Golden Army (July 11)Sequels are unavoidable. Fortunately, that doesn’t matter for Hellboy 2, since everyone’s favorite horned demon (Ron Perlman) is punching holes through yet another batch of otherworldly hellspawn. Hellboy’s aided by his pyrokinetic girlfriend (Selma Blair) and the Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense (basically, a superhero “mystic” and some dude with Aquaman-esque powers). Just don’t mind the fat stogie in our red-skinned anti-hero’s mouth – he’s not a shill for Big Tobacco. Really, we checked.
The Dark Knight (July 18)The Dark Knight now finds the caped crusader (Christian Bale) defending Gotham City against his greatest rival – the hee-hawing, anarchistic Joker. The late Heath Ledger’s chilling interpretation of the Laughing One oughta throw some Oscar nods his way. Expect high-octane thrills and, as always, more artful direction from Christopher Nolan. Now if we could just figure out how he squeezes into that rubber suit in one minute flat…
Step Brothers (July 25)It’s best to compare the new Will Ferrell/John C. Reilly (both of Talladega Nights) comedy to an anti-Brady Bunch. Hear us out: both play middle-aged, sporadically-employed slackers each still living with their single parents. Improbable movie magic ensues, and the mom and dad from both families marry, forcing the overgrown boys to shack up together as step-brothers. Will our dynamic duo finally stop leeching off their parents, leave the house (gasp!) and get jobs? Stay tuned!
Pineapple Express (August 8)Reefer madness never seemed more extreme than in Judd Apatow’s (Superbad) latest can’t-go-wrong comedy mega-machine, Pineapple Express. Ever questing for that Holy Grail of Herb, Saul Silver (James Franco) and Dale Denton (Seth Rogen) stumble upon a rare strain of weed so lung-tastic they accidentally drop the blunt while witnessing a murder. Who’s murdering who? Dirty cops and drug dealers, that’s who. Just put that in your pipe and… oh, nevermind.
The Clone Wars (August 15) This, the George Lucas-approved Clone Wars, seeks to fill the void between Attack of the Clones and Revenge of the Sith – using liberal amounts of CGI, that is. Yep, Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi swing a lightsaber or three at droids, sith and – strangely enough – Jabba the Hutt’s clan. Why? Turns out Jabba’s son was kidnapped, which should leave you amped not for the spectacle to follow, but to learn how the hell that massive blubbery worm thing could actually reproduce.
No Bells and Whistles Here
A short list of smaller, explosionless independent films in theaters this summer
Mongol (June 27)Recounts the early life of Genghis Khan as a slave until his power-hungry quest to conquer half of the world.
Screens: Sunrise Cinemas Gateway (1820 E. Sunrise Blvd., Fort Lauderdale). For a full list of showtimes and venues, visit the Sunrise Cinemas Web site.
Flight of the Red Balloon (June 27)Paying homage to the 1956 classic The Red Balloon, the story follows a young boy who’s mysteriously chased around town by a red balloon and his puppeteer mother.
Screens: June 27 to July 5 at Lake Worth Playhouse (713 Lake Avenue, Lake Worth). Visit the Lake Worth Palyhouse Web site.
Brick Lane (July 11)A beautiful young Bangladeshi woman is forced into a loveless arranged marriage in 1980s London that she desperately struggles to leave.
Screens: Sunrise Cinemas. For a full list of showtimes and venues, visit the Sunrise Cinemas Web site.
The Wackness (July 25)A teenage drug dealer forms an unlikely bond with a druggie psychologist in 1994 New York City.
Screens: Sunrise Cinemas. For a full list of showtimes and venues, visit the Sunrise Cinemas Web site.
Top 3 best movie theaters around the area
By Irene Medina, Staff Writer
1. Regal Sawgrass 23Located on the site of the Sawgrass Mills Mall, this movie theater (though a little far) is one of the best around the area. Enjoy reasonable prices for a comfortable seat in one of their many movie rooms. The Regal Sawgrass is rarely crowded during the week, but if you go during the weekend be prepared to stand in line for more than a couple of minutes.
Location: 2600 N.W. 136th Ave. in Sunrise
2. Swap Shop Drive-inIf you thought that drive-ins didn’t exist anymore, you’re wrong. Drive-in movie theaters are still up and running, and this is one of the best. The Swap Shop Drive-in is the perfect place to go to if you completely hate those people behind you making commentary during the movie. Stay in the comfort of your car and bring all the food you want, because there are no restrictions here.
Don’t fall into the assumption that they only play old movies here, either. This drive-in plays the latest movies out in theaters and they continuously update their movie list. Be aware of traffic, though – this place can get pretty packed on a Saturday night. Get there early, park your car, and enjoy your movie.
Location: 3291 W. Sunrise Blvd. in Fort Lauderdale
3. Muvico Palace 20 & The Premier TheatersPrepare yourself for one of the biggest and most comfortable movie theaters in the area. This stadium-like theater is not only a place to watch movies, but a place to eat as well, featuring a restaurant in the premier level of its Boca Raton location. The seats inside of the theater are better than laying on your bed, the food at the concession stand is delicious, and the sound system and the larger-than-real-life plasma screens will get you so close to the movie that you will never want to leave.
Location: 3200 Airport Road in Boca Raton
