Not every slice of entertainment sparkles like a gem. So, we’d like to think we’re providing a valuable service by profiling not what you should do this weekend, but rather what you should avoid like the plague. Here’s the worst of the worst this week (and don’t say we didn’t warn you):

R&B artist Usher dropped his first release since his son’s birth, but “Here I Stand” proves that sometimes a hiatus doesn’t help.

Sure, there’s the two minute interlude “Prayer for You” dedicated to “my baby,” but cut the first five seconds of a child’s moaning sound bite and it’s another Usher love song.

The first words sung on “Love in This Club,” an obvious club single, lays the premise of the album: “Do it for the ladies, gotta keep hood.” While the track blatantly rips off every German synth / techno artist, the real offender is Usher’s game. Normal guys can’t ask a girl, “What’s your name, what’s your number?” and follow that bullet-proof pickup line with “on the couch, on the bar, on the table?” We all get it Usher – you’re young, famous and on Forbes’ wealthiest list.

Every song, even “This Ain’t Sex,” is – get this – all about sex. “I can’t wait to get you in my room, let me set up the moon,” is a cheesy one-liner taken from a Google query for “Worst Dating Lines Ever.” Couple that with a Superbad-esque, porno-funk beat and you’ve got the most ironically-titled track ever.

With a CD this generic, it’s a mystery how Usher can convince big-name stars to headline them. Somehow, though, they’re there: Jay-Z, Beyoncé, Young Jeezy, and Will.I.Am all take guest seats.

Maybe the guy rushed the album. Perhaps he’s too busy caring for his child. Someday, maybe Usher will put out an album dealing with love beyond one-night flings and superficial hook-ups. Judging from his past career and Here I Stand, it’s not to be expected.