The advertisements promised, “You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll scream for more,” and the first annual Mr. Honors College competition delivered all of the above. Audience members were privy to a night of improvisational humor at the expense of six Honors College “men” and one, um, Meridian supervisor of custodial staff.
Put on by resident assistants Nicholas Yanes, a junior, and Jeremy Owens, a sophomore, with assistance from Residential Life, the event took place on Friday, April 11 at 8 p.m. in the MAC auditorium. Yanes submitted the original idea for the event and was its host. Owens was a part of the amusement, and the contestants were completely hilarious.
The contestants included junior Patrick Hoy, junior Riggs Gjyshi, junior Alex Watts, senior Joe Colucci, junior Tim Case and sophomore Ryan Raska along with Jim Balch, supervisor of the custodial staff. Each one of these guys brought their own sense of humor to the event, helping to make it a success.
The judges included Honors College staff and faculty members Dr. Kern, Dr. Vazquez, Dr. Murphy, Dr. Broderick and David Flanigan.
“The reason I want Mr. Honors College is because I heard he was hot,” Watts said in his introduction.
After all the contestants introduced themselves, they were on to the first round of competition and a tall blonde surprise.
The first round of competition was “Best Pickup Line.” Yanes introduced “Jeremiah” (Owens dressed as a girl) and told the audience that “she” would be evaluating the contestants’ pick up lines.
“Do you have a mirror in your pants?” asked Hoy. “Because I can see myself in ’em.”
The only information contestants were given upon signing up for the pageant was that they would need a “talent” and a swimsuit, and due to the nature of the pageant, they had a lot of leeway as far as the definition of talent and style of swimsuit. There were also no rehearsals, so the pageant was mostly improvisational.
The guys’ talents were definitely eye opening and jaw dropping. Who knew the Honors College had its very own accomplished Ribbon Twirler (Gjyshi) or Evil Kneivel (Raska on a scooter)? Watts, in a sheer white baby doll chemise with boxers underneath, a pink feather boa, and an enormous black afro-style wig, undeniably gets acclaim for most original style during his “Happy birthday Mr. President, professors, and judges” song. Case exhibited the paramount most impressive talent, however, with his original song and guitar accompaniment.
In the interviews, Yanes asked the contestants about the most sensitive, the manliest, the toughest, and the bravest things they’ve ever done. Also – if they could accomplish one thing in their lives, what it would be?
When asked what the manliest thing he’d ever done was, Colucci responded, “I held Listerine in my mouth longer than a minute – that stuff stings like a b***h.”
The swimsuit competition was another hilarious event. Contestants strutted their stuff to “I’m too Sexy (On the Catwalk)” by Right Said Fred. Swimsuits varied from a Speedo to classic board shorts. Again Watts blurred the boundaries between Mr. and Ms. Honors College by covering his swimsuit with a bright orange bikini. At one point, contestants pulled Judge David Flanigan on stage and paraded around him.
While judges tallied up the votes, juniors Walteria Tucker and Mike Degani serenaded the audience with the “Mr. Honors College Theme Song.”
(Lyrics below, by senior Alexis Komara, courtesy of junior Walteria Tucker)
He’s got the brain,He’s got the brawn, With the ladies he can’t go wrong, He’s Mr. Honors College.
When he smiles it’s like sun-shine, He’s got stars in his eyes,He’s funny and witty – sweet as apple pie,He’s Mr. Honors College.
He’s Mr. Honors College,He’s one of a kind.He’s Mr. Honors College, He’s the best you’ll find.
He’s got the looks, The style,The attitude,The knowledge,He’s Mr. Honors College.
Although director of residential life Sean Pierce took almost 20 minutes to return with a tally of the votes, contestants entertained the audience and host, Yanes, who was for once at a loss for words. Balch sang songs and told jokes, and Gjyshi and Colucci also told jokes.
Colucci won “Mr. Charming” and a black book, Raska won “Mr. Sensitive” and a Barry Manilow album and the soundtrack to Romeo and Juliet. Balch won “Mr. Mighty” and a Hulk toy, and Hoy won Mr. Macho and a Mr. Potato Head doll – “A spud for a stud.”
Case was the big winner, strutting away with the “Mr. Talented” and “Mr. Honors College” titles. He won a hula-hoop, a crown, two tickets to Regal Crown Cinema, a tie, and t-shirts advertising his “Mr. Honors College” and “Mr. Entertaining” status. All winners received t-shirts with their new titles on them.
The event was very funny. However, I was a little disappointed that Watts wasn’t given some sort of prize for his fashion – it was very manly for him to wear women’s clothing on the catwalk.
“If it is continued, I hope Mr. Honors College could change the world and make it a better place,” said Yanes. “I hope it will become more of a tradition so all of FAU can enjoy it.”
