It’s an ongoing joke, but in reality it’s a growing problem. Old people really are taking over South Florida.
They’re in lines at the supermarket accidentally handing the cashier a button instead of a dime. They’re on the roads driving well below the posted speed limit and taking up as many lanes as they see fit with their left blinker flashing uncontrollably. And worst of all, now they’re invading FAU.
Before you label me as someone disrespectful of the elderly, hear me out. They audit classes and use up talk time better spent on students or teachers. They hold up the lines at the University Center Ticketmaster. Most prominently, they take up all the prime parking spaces around campus. There’s a problem when people drop classes they need or are perpetually late because of parking issues.
College is the place young people go to escape the real world for (an intended) four years. It’s a closed environment here where the requirements of learning, food, shelter and socialization are provided. It’s the carefree place we use to get a leg up before heading out into the working world. It’s the last sanctuary that’s no one else’s but yours.
After college we’ll find ourselves stuck in cubicles, saddled with mortgage payments, consistently having to deal with people we genuinely dislike, and all the while our bodies are disintegrating before us. All these factors taken into consideration, it’s not too much to ask to keep the university experience pristine.
This is a young person’s world. It’s a fast-paced world. If you slow down for even a moment, you’ll be eaten by the sharks. Throw in any clichí© you want. The point is, old people have had their day in the sun and now it may be time for them to fade off into the proverbial sunset. There are some hungry, young lions out there and it’s our turn to shine. Kudos to the elderly for paving the way for us, and now we’ll do the same for the next generation before the pattern repeats itself.
My slogan to the elderly that’s fitting for any given situation: Just step aside.
