College is about studying, having fun and perhaps the occasional midnight Star Trek marathon. But another big part of attending a university is dealing with roommates. I cannot tell you the number of horror stories of interrupted romantic trysts or finding urine in the shampoo bottle.
I shudder looking back on my own first experience with splitting living space over a year ago, and I realize how much I’ve learned. I hope that by reading my accounts you’ll find some helpful hints for tolerating that roomie of yours.
Situation #1: A stranger is alone in your room
I’d just had the longest day of my life, and all I wanted to do was get into my PJs and take a nap, but when I opened the door, a scruffy-looking guy in his 20s was sprawled out on my roommate’s bed.
“Dude, I’m Tristan*… Grace’s* boyfriend?” he said blandly. “Grace gave me the keys. Is it chill if I hang out here and watch The Incredible Hulk?” Chill? There was nothing chill about this situation. I was speechless at his nonchalance, and I dropped my books by my desk and sprinted out the door.
The right thing to do:
If your roommate gives the keys to a stranger, he/she’s endangering the safety of your belongings and your life. If I hadn’t lost my brain, I would’ve politely asked him to leave. “I have a really big test to study for, and I really need some quiet time” is an idea. “How about you come back later when my roommate’s here to hang out with you?” If the person doesn’t leave when you tell them to, lock up your valuables and go to your RA’s room. No one likes to tattle, but this is one battle you should fight. Giving keys to someone else, especially if that someone else isn’t familiar to you, is against the rules, and your RA will take care of it.
Situation #2: Your roommate’s significant other gets into the habit of sleeping over
He’s back! I had just finished studying for an exam, and I opened the door to find Tristan and Grace … mid-embrace, shall we say? Traumatized, I again bolted like a frightened deer. I spent most of that night awake in my then-boyfriend’s room, grumbling about Grace’s lack of warning. This went on for more than a week.
The right thing to do:
Time for a sex talk. Skip the silence and cut straight to the awkward heart of the situation. You and your roommate are going to want to have people over, and communication is key when you want to be alone. You need to understand that you might not always get your way, but compromises can be made. In the end, it’s more important that both people have enough time to relax and study in the comfort of their own room.
Situation #3: Your roommate stops cleaning the bathroom
My suitemate, Lola*, and I had had an argument over something stupid, and she wasn’t talking to me. The next week I noticed that she was hoarding the toilet paper and neglecting to empty the bathroom trash can (filled with her food trash). At first I thought nothing of it, but I started to get paranoid when the toilet paper roll I put on in the morning was gone by nightfall. “Two can play this game,” I thought wickedly, clearing my cleaning supplies out of the drawer underneath the sink. “Let’s see how she likes washing her hands with no soap!”
The right thing to do:
Leaving someone stranded with half a sheet of toilet paper is just plain mean. Be the better person and show your roommate or suitemate that you’re more mature by continuing to clean up. It’s not like you’re cleaning it for your roommate; you don’t want to get foot fungus from standing in a filthy shower. They’ll come around eventually.
There are a lot of things about the first year of college that seem really scary. Living closely with someone you’ve never met and might not like is definitely one of them. Keeping calm, knowing how to reach your RA, and learning from other people’s experiences (and mistakes) might help keep those raunchy roommates and anything-but-sweet-mates at bay. Good luck, and pardon this Trekkie when I say I hope you “live long and prosper” at FAU.
*Names have been changed to protect roommates everywhere.
