No matter which campus you’re at, three factors stay the same: You’ll need somewhere to park your car, somewhere to drink with your friends and something fun to do.

Luckily, FAU’s four main hubs are in some pretty sweet areas, where bars, dance clubs and even a strip club are within a short driving distance.

Unfortunately, it may be quicker to drive to these off-campus places than to find a parking space at the school, depending on the time of day.

But to make life easier for all the incoming students, the UP went out and did all the dirty work. We drove around from south to north and from east to west on half a tank of gas.

Davie campus

Population: 5,010 students.*Random Fact: Club Eden strip club is 1.2 miles from campus.

Drinking: You might not be able to find yourself a good beer on campus, but no worries, there are six pubs and bars just within a mile of the Davie campus where you can watch a game, relax, and even buy the professor a round after mid-terms.

But if you’re looking for a quick fix and feel the urge for some Captain Morgan, then head south on University Drive to the Clark and Ramon liquor store, just a mile and a half away.

Parking: The parking spots here are not just for FAU students. They’re shared with those gals and guys from Broward Community College (BCC). So if you don’t feel like going around in circles, either get there early or have fun stalking people for a parking spot.

Other: This campus might be right around the corner from a strip club, but it is also the closest campus to a funeral home. Fred Hunter Funeral Home is 1.2 miles away.

Fort Lauderdale Campus

13.2 mi (20 minutes) from Davie campus**Population: 904 students.*Random Fact: Closest campus to a jail – 0.4 miles to the Broward County Jail

Drinking: The Las Olas Riverfront, a two-story, open-air plaza that is less than half a mile from campus, is good for restaurants in the day and club hopping at night. There’s also a liquor store on Broward Blvd. between the highway and campus. But be careful if you’re underage: the police department is right across the street.

Parking: The only free option is the top floor of the parking garage across from campus. Everyone with an FAU decal can park here any day of the week. While it looks like there are four elevators in the garage, only the two closest to the campus work – and they also talk. However, don’t expect a meaningful conversation, since they only respond with “going up,” “going down” and the names of the floors.

Other: The large awning on top of the garage is actually a helicopter landing pad, or a heliport. Because of this, there are times when helicopters fly really close to the garage. Even if they’re a safe distance away, the noise is rather loud – keep this in mind if you plan to study or nap in the car.

Boca Raton Campus

14.9 mi (19 minutes) from Fort Lauderdale campus**Population: 19,225 students.*Random Fact: Closest campus to a bar – 0.0 miles to Coyote Jack’s in the Student Union

Drinking: If you’re looking for liquor, you’ll need to search off campus, since Coyote Jack’s only serves beer. But beware: Glades Road is useless for finding booze. Instead, try Federal Highway, also known as US-1. It has three liquor stores within two miles of campus (two north, one south), and a few bars inside of strip malls.

Parking: If it’s before 2 p.m., park in the garage on the east side of campus near the Arts & Letters building – it’s a little far, but there are usually plenty of spots. After 2 p.m., it’s worth a shot to find a closer space. But don’t even bother looking in the lots by the dorms, since they’re always full.

Other: When exiting from I-95 onto Glades Road, roll up the windows and close the air vents. Seriously. There’s a wastewater plant between the highway and the campus, and it smells like something died.

Jupiter Campus

39.1 miles (39 minutes) from Boca campus**Population: 1,927 students.*Random Fact: Closest campus to a bunch of golf courses – 1.0 mile

Drinking: Jackpot! The Jupiter campus is the perfect spot for all of those honors kids with a potential drinking problem. Behind the dorms of this campus there is an entire street (Town Center Drive) full of bars and cafes where students can enjoy a drink or two.

Parking: If you want to drive (or if you have to) from the Boca Raton campus up to Jupiter for a class, well you’re in luck, because parking at this campus is not a hassle. It may be a trek, but it sure as hell beats following strangers to their cars and restraining that road rage you didn’t know you had until you entered college.

Other: The Jupiter campus is not only considered to be one of the nicest looking campuses, but it is also the only other FAU campus with a residential life. Yes, there are humans living here; it’s not just golf courses.

*All student population data taken from the Office of Institutional Effectiveness and Analysis’ 2007 campus headcount. The numbers indicate how many students had classes at that campus, not how many students used that as their primary campus. ** Times and distances from Google Maps.