With a maximum of nine semester hours allowed in summertime, and a beautiful Muvico theater right around the corner, any FAU student would have to take advantage of the extra time to catch at least a few of the movies streaming for the American masses viewing pleasure this season. One look at the marquee, though, and you might think you’re in some kind of time warp. The Longest Yard, Herbie, The Dukes of Hazard, and Bewitched, amongst others, are all comedic remakes of successful Hollywood films or TV shows. Even FAU’s own Film Club, headed by maverick director Chris Bolender, just completed production on Eternal Sleep, a film inspired by 1950s film noir.

But that’s just it. They only seem to remake successful films or shows. Why can’t some director or producer recognize the potential in some bygone Hollywood flops? The first three horrible Batman films didn’t keep the film executives from realizing that the story still had potential. Why not do the same for some comedies that missed due to one or more bad decisions?

With this great idea (that I stole from Esquire movie columnist Mike D’Angelo) in mind, I thought I might hopefully inspire some young filmmaker to take another stab at some comedies that missed but could have been a hit:

The Replacements, 2000: If you remember, this was a horrible football comedy about scabs who cross the picket lines to play in place of the professional athletes on strike. With Gene Hackman as the coach and Jack Warden as the team owner, it seemed that this had the makings of a classic. But the biggest problem was the star, Keanu Reeves. He’s not funny. Talk about type casting. This guy did one great comedy with Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and Hollywood thinks he can pull off the leading role. Not only that, he’s wholly unbelievable as a tough guy leader. His scenes opposite Gene Hackman highlight him as a wussyman. I mean, you can be a tough guy who’s in a slump without really being a pansy – like Tom Cruise in Top Gun. Watch this thing again and imagine Vin Diesel saying his lines and you’ll see the potential of this movie. But it would still suck because the side characters are not funny either, even when their lines are. Beyond that the music and football action is cheesy and amateur, respectively. So, up-start directors, rewrite the minor action of the side characters, get Vin, redo the action and music, hire some cheerleader actresses that are actually cute, and we could have a real doozy.

Hooper, 1978: There’s simply have not been enough attempts at making good stunt guy movies. Hooper was one of the few that even tried. Starring Burt Reynolds as an aging Hollywood stunt man, this movie had potential. Unlike The Replacements, the leading role is solid with Burt (a Jupiter, FL native) at the helm. Nobody can touch Burt as a likeable, hardcore tough guy. Also, the stunts really were cool. The problem comes from the main side character, an obnoxious director, who becomes Burt’s nemesis in the film. He’s really obnoxious, not funny obnoxious. Beyond that, despite seeing the movie right as it came out, the look of the movie was stale. It seemed low budget. Also, Burt was dating Sally Fields at the time and I guess felt obligated to bring her in on it. Combined with the Trans Am stunt car, the whole thing was a bit too wanna-be Smokey and the Bandit. Burt even said that the main problem was that people thought it was a comedy when it wasn’t. But it should’ve been. Ski, Burt’s sidekick in the film would be great with a high-energy, zany comedic actor like Jack Black. With a solid, comedic rewrite, leaving out all the dramatic relationship scenes where Sally tries to convince Burt not to continue as a stuntman, this could be a great film.

Better Off Dead, 1985: This high school movie starring a young John Cusack actually had some great comedic scenes. Cusack was a teen so obsessed with his ex-girlfriend that he decided to try and off himself. Unsuccessfully. Cusack was great in the part. The problem with this movie begins and ends with the directing. While the characters and dialogue are funny, they are presented in some kind of indie, surreal style of filmmaking that is really distracting. Long, directorial pauses in dialogue and action interrupt what, on paper, could work. Cusack is still looking good. But if he’s not into it, find some up and comer to redo his work. Beyond that, all that’s needed is another director to keep the scenes clicking and this could be a comedy classic.

So, if you are inspired by any of these ideas, all you need is a couple of hundred thousand dollars and some serious Hollywood connections and it’s all yours. Don’t even thank me. The remake is thanks enough. And if you’re interested in getting involved in FAU’s Film Club, check out www.faufilms.com. They are currently working heavy on a Fall Film Fest to be held on Boca campus. They meet every Wed. at 6 p.m. in the Royal Palm Room located in the U.C. And finally, I’ve got two words for you, The A-Team. Bring back Mr. T! Get to work Bolender.