As the sunlit hours stretch further with each passing day and our class lengths grow from the reasonable 50 minutes of spring to the unbearable 180 of summer, we search for lighthearted distractions to fill the many weeks before the fall semester begins.
Luckily, this summer there is an abundance of filmed entertainment to satisfy your cravings. There are sequels galore, several comic book heroes to the rescue, and enough love, drollery, and explosive action going around to entice you from that damp, sandy towel on the beach into a comfy movie theater seat with a bucket of popcorn in your lap.
Here is the UP‘s take on some of the most highly anticipated films of the summer.
May 23
Bruce Almighty
Director: Tom ShadyacCast: Jim Carrey, Jennifer Aniston, Morgan Freeman
The gist: When God (Freeman) decides to take a break from his duties, he asks down-on-his-luck reporter Bruce Nolan (Carrey) to take over his omnipotent powers for a while.
UP says: Looks like a good time. With Carrey returning to his comedic roots after box-office failures Man on the Moon and The Majestic, as well as the addition of Aniston, arguably the funniest “Friend,” as Bruce’s girlfriend, this film should be a riot.
The In-Laws
Director: Andrew FlemingCast: Michael Douglas, Albert Brooks, Candice Bergen, Robin Tunney
The gist: Douglas plays a reckless CIA agent whose son is getting married to the daughter of an uptight podiatrist (Brooks) in this odd-couple comedy.
UP says: The In-Laws‘ trailer, supposedly the best the film has to offer, is painfully unfunny – the jokes fall flat, Douglas and Brooks have no chemistry, and the formula is tired. If the trailer disappoints, it only makes you wonder how bad the 90-minute version will be.
May 30
The Italian Job
Director: F. Gary GrayCast: Mark Wahlberg, Edward Norton, Charlize Theron, Seth Green
The gist:Wahlberg and his band of thieves execute a dangerous gold heist, only to have the prize taken from them by a traitorous member of their own team. In order to retrieve the gold, the crooks organize the biggest traffic jam in Los Angeles history, using Mini Coopers to race through the city’s streets and subway system.
UP says: A remake of a classic 1969 British caper comedy, The Italian Job has been reconfigured as a sober Hollywood action flick. Given Wahlberg’s history with unsuccessful remakes (Planet of the Apes, The Truth About Charlie), don’t expect too much this time around, either.
Finding Nemo
Director: Andrew StantonCast: Albert Brooks, Ellen DeGeneres, Willem Dafoe, Geoffrey Rush
The gist: Pixar’s latest computer-generated flick boasts several celebrity voices in its tale of a clownfish (Brooks) in search of his son, who’s been captured by scuba divers.
UP says: Despite some negative talk surrounding an early cut, Nemo does come from the same company that created the super-hits Toy Story, A Bug’s Life, and Monster’s, Inc., and it looks like a film that will appeal to both young and mature minds.
June 6
2 Fast 2 Furious
Director: John SingeltonCast: Paul Walker, Tyrese, Cole Hauser, Eva Mendes
The gist: Walker returns to The Fast and The Furious franchise as an ex-cop, this time working undercover with Tyrese to take down a shady car dealer in Miami.
UP says: The sequel was made without its original director and star after Vin Diesel allegedly requested $30 million to reprise his character. It’s not known if Walker can carry a film by himself, but many viewers will probably show up anyway just to see all the pretty cars.
Prozac Nation
Director: Erik SkjoldbjaergCast: Christina Ricci, Jason Biggs, Anne Heche, Michelle Williams
The gist: A Harvard undergrad (Ricci) battles depression in the early ’80s, before drugs like Prozac and Paxil were as easy to get as cough drops, in this film based on New Yorker writer Elizabeth Wurtzel’s autobiography.
UP says: Though the early reviews are split down the middle about Prozac Nation, Ricci is at her best when she’s portraying dark, depressed characters (think The Opposite of Sex and The Addams Family) and it will be intriguing to see American Pie veteran Biggs in a dramatic role.
June 13
When Harry Met Lloyd: Dumb and Dumberer
Director: Troy MillerCast: Eric Christian Olsen, Derek Richardson, Eugene Levy, Cheri Oteri
The gist: In this prequel to 1994’s Dumb and Dumber, we meet Harry (Olsen) and Lloyd (Richardson) as high-schoolers who hang out with special-ed students.
UP says: Since original stars Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels refused to do a sequel, it’s a cute idea to do a prequel so they could use different actors, but only one person on Earth can do Jim Carrey, and that’s Jim Carrey. Watching young, unknown actors impersonate their older counterparts could get old really fast.
Hollywood Homicide
Director: Ron SheltonCast: Harrison Ford, Josh Hartnett, Lena Olin
The gist: In this buddy comedy, two homicide detectives (Ford and Hartnett) investigate murders by day, but lead very different lives when they’re off duty: Hartnett moonlights as a yoga instructor and aspiring actor while Ford tries, mostly unsuccessfully, to sell real estate.
UP says: Pairing heartthrobs Hartnett and Ford will assure a multi-generational audience, and it will be a relief to see Ford return to comedy after his bleak turn in K-19:The Widowmaker.
June 20
The Hulk
Director: Ang LeeCast: Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Nick Nolte, Josh Lucas, Sam Elliott
The gist: Scientist Bruce Banner (Bana) suffers a strange side effect after one of his experiments goes wrong – when he gets angry, he becomes very big, very mean and very green.
UP says: Casting a relative unknown as The Hulk may hinder the film’s success, especially since audiences have lately been bombarded with comic-based flicks and may not be in the mood for another one.
Alex and Emma
Director: Rob ReinerCast: Luke Wilson, Kate Hudson, Sophie Marceau
The gist: Novelist Alex (Wilson) owes some mean mob guys big bucks due to his gambling habit, and to pay off his debt, must get his book finished in 30 days. Since he can’t type very well, he hires stenographer Emma (Hudson), who challenges his ideas and offers her own in this romantic comedy based on the true story of how writer Fyodor Dostoevsky met his lady love.
UP says: It’s hard to imagine Hudson, whom we’ve come to know as a ditzy blonde thanks to How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and Almost Famous, portray an intellectual woman, but with romantic-comedy pro Reiner (When Harry Met Sally…, The American President) at the helm, Alex and Emma should be a delight nonetheless.
June 27
Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle
Director: Joseph McGinty Nichol Cast: Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu, Bernie Mac, Demi Moore
The gist: Everyone’s favorite bikini-clad crime-fighters return to battle new nemesis Madison Lee (Moore), with help from comrade Bosley (Mac).
UP says: With the promise of more action, more costume changes, more celebrity cameos, and just plain Moore, this sequel is destined for success.
July 2
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
Director: Jonathon MostowCast: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Nick Stahl, Kristanna Loken, Claire Danes
The gist: 10 years after Judgement Day, John Connor (Stahl) is once again in danger of assassination, thanks to super-terminator T-X (Loken). Connor’s old buddy, the T-1000 (Schwarzenegger), returns to guard his life.
UP says: After losing original director James Cameron and stars Linda Hamilton and Edward Furlong, Warner Bros. paid Schwarzenegger a record $30 million to reprise his Terminator role. It must be said that this film does not look too good, but fans who have long awaited the sequel will flock to theaters regardless.
Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde
Director: Charles Herman-WurmfieldCast: Reese Witherspoon, Sally Field, Bob Newhart, Luke Wilson
The gist: Unlikely Harvard graduate Elle Woods (Witherspoon) works in Washington, D.C. as an aide to a congresswoman (Field) and fights for a new cause in this sequel: animal rights.
UP says: After proving her leading-lady marketability in Legally Blonde and Sweet Home Alabama, the adorable Witherspoon will bring in audiences again, though she may lose a few customers to Terminator 3 in the opening weekend.
July 9
Pirates of The Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
Director: Gore VerbinskiCast: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley
The gist: When handsome pirate Jack Sparrow’s (Depp) enemy Captain Barbossa (Rush) steals Sparrow’s ship the Black Pearl and kidnaps the governor’s daughter Elizabeth (Knightley), Sparrow and Elizabeth’s friend Will (Bloom) set out to reclaim the ship and the girl. Meanwhile, Barbossa and his pirates have fallen under the curse of the Black Pearl, transforming each night into living skeletons.
UP says: Though the initial idea of a movie based on a Walt Disney World ride seemed ludicrous, the special effects seen in the trailer look downright spooky (Verbinski is, after all, the man who brought us the fright fest The Ring) and main attractions Depp and newcomer Bloom (The Lord of the Rings) will draw in women everywhere, and probably plenty of men, too.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Director: Stephen NorringtonCast: Sean Connery, Stuart Townsend, Peta Wilson, Shane West
The gist: A collection of fictional literary figures, including Captain Nemo, the Invisible Man, Tom Sawyer, Dorian Gray and Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde, team up to fight an evil genius seeking world domination.
UP says: Yet another film based on a comic, this ensemble piece seems to be striving to be this year’s X-Men. Connery says he turned down roles in The Lord of the Rings and The Matrix and lived to regret it. When he was offered this film, he felt he couldn’t pass it up. From glancing over the plot, maybe he should have.
July 18
Bad Boys 2
Director: Michael BayCast: Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Gabrielle Union, Joe Pantoliano
The gist: Mike Lowrey (Smith) and Marcus Burnett (Lawrence) are back on the case in Miami, this time investigating an ecstasy dealer. But their working relationship is endangered when Mike gets the hots for Marcus’ sister (Union).
UP says: The original was a big hit for Smith and Lawrence, neither of whom has had one lately. Hopefully their rematch will put their careers back into motion.
July 25
Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life
Director: Jan De BontCast: Angelina Jolie, Gerard Butler, Chris Barrie
The gist: Lara Croft’s (Jolie) search for Pandora’s Box gives her a new reason to wear tight, shiny outfits and play with jet skis and motorcycles as she travels through Europe, Africa and Asia.
UP says: Jolie claims this second installment of Tomb Raider is “darker and sexier” than the original, and audiences will get to see her in a bikini. Enough said.
Buffalo Soldiers
Director: Gregor JordanCast: Joaquin Phoenix, Ed Harris, Scott Glenn
The gist: A satiric look at a group of soldiers who steal, fight, drink, and take and sell drugs on an American army base in 1989 Berlin.
UP says: The film’s controversial theme – that in times of peace, people will cause conflict just to kill time – made this film a hard sell after 9/11, when it was supposed to be released. But even now, Americans may not be in the mood for an “unpatriotic” movie.
Seabiscuit
Director: Gary RossCast: Tobey Maguire, Jeff Bridges, Chris Cooper, William H. Macy
The gist: Adapted from a best-selling novel based on a true story, this film follows the story of Seabiscuit, a bad-tempered, bowlegged racing horse who became a national sensation when its rider Red Pollard (Maguire), trainer Tom Smith (Cooper), and owner Charles Howard (Bridges) turned him into a champion during the Great Depression.
UP says: In1998, Ross brought us Pleasantville, a beautifully shot period film with vivid, almost unreal colors. Since that film was set in an idyllic ’50s town, the bright hues were appropriate; based on Seabiscuit‘s trailer, Ross is using dismal sepia tones, giving this movie an aged, melancholy feel more suited to the Depression era. It’s being touted as a feel-good, all-American family film, an interesting contrast to this week’s Buffalo Soldier.
July 31
Wonderland
Director: James CoxCast: Val Kilmer, Kate Bosworth, Lisa Kudrow, Dylan McDermott
The gist: In the early ’80s, late porn star John C. Holmes (Kilmer) was spending a lot of time at 8763 Wonderland Avenue, doing drugs with his teenage girlfriend (Bosworth) and several other unsavory individuals. In 1981, four people were murdered in the house, and Holmes’ involvement in the unresolved homicide has been a subject of interest ever since.
UP says: Holmes, the abundantly-endowed king of ’70s skin flicks, was the inspiration for 1997’s Boogie Nights, a critical and box-office success. And that one only involved pornographic film making. Throw in some manslaughter, and we’ve got ourselves a smash.
August 1
American Wedding
Director: Jesse DylanCast: Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Eddie Kaye Thomas, Seann William Scott
The gist: In this final installment of the American Pie trilogy, Jim’s (Biggs) dying grandmother has just one wish: to see her grandson walk down the aisle. Most of the original cast returns for Jim and Michelle’s (Hannigan) wedding. Stifler (Scott) plans the bachelor party, of course, and Jim’s dad (Eugene Levy) is there to give his son another dose of his embarrassing fatherly advice.
UP says: More sophomoric potty humor from the American Pie kids. Here’s to hoping we won’t be forced to sit through American Divorce next summer.
Gigli
Director: Martin BrestCast: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, Christopher Walken, Al Pacino
The gist: Down-and-out hit man Gigli (Affleck) is ordered to kidnap the mentally challenged brother of a federal prosecutor, but his boss also sends in Ricki (Lopez), a lesbian hired gun, to keep an eye on Gigli. Then, you know, Gigli falls in love with Ricki and Ricki falls in love with Gigli and her lover tries to kill herself… it’s just really your basic romantic comedy, as director Brest claims.
UP says: This film has taken a long time to get released. It’s gone through different titles (from Gigli, which no one could pronounce, to Tough Love, and back to Gigli, which still no one can pronounce) and several endings due to test audiences’ negative reactions. And the story – a pretty-boy hit man and a mentally challenged hostage and a lesbian killer who’s attracted to a guy? The only reason to watch this film, which has already been subject to scathing reviews, will be curiosity about the chemistry between the now-infamously betrothed Lopez and Affleck.
August 8
S.W.A.T.
Director: Clark JohnsonCast: Samuel L. Jackson, Colin Farrell, LL Cool J, Michelle Rodriguez
The gist: Jackson is Hondo, the leader of an elite S.W.A.T. team hired by an imprisoned drug lord (Olivier Martinez) who offers $100 million to anyone who can free him. Farrell and LL Cool J join the team in this thriller based on the ’70s TV show.
UP says: Johnson promises his action flick will be driven by character development, not explosions. And Farrell, fast becoming a leading action hero after The Recruit and Phone Booth, Martinez, hot off the success of Unfaithful, and the always reliable Jackson should prove a good combination.
Matchstick Men
Director: Ridley ScottCast: Nicolas Cage, Sam Rockwell, Alison Lohman
The gist: Obsessive-compulsive con artist Roy (Cage) and his partner (Rockwell) are about to attempt their biggest scam yet when Roy’s teenage daughter (Lohman), whom he’s never seen, shows up and throws his tidy life into disorder.
UP says: Cage has a knack for getting into his characters’ minds, so it should be fun to see him develop his own obsessive-compulsive tics and habits.
August 15
Uptown Girls
Director: Boaz YakinCast: Brittany Murphy, Dakota Fanning, Heather Locklear, Marley Shelton
The Gist: Molly (Murphy), the reckless socialite daughter of a late rock legend, is forced to get a job after her inheritance is stolen. She takes on the role as nanny to Ray (Fanning), the precocious 8-year-old daughter of a busy executive (Locklear).
UP says: Murphy is just giddy about the Uptown Girls‘ script – “It was like someone had sprinkled it with pixie dust,” she says. The mixture of a child actress with the often-hyper Murphy could be really sweet. Or it might make us gag.
Freddy vs. Jason
Director: Ronny YuCast: Robert Englund, Ken Kirzenger, Monica Keena, Kelly Rowland
The gist: Elm Street homeowners are giving their children drugs to suppress their dreams, thereby preventing the kids’ old buddy Freddy Krueger from haunting them. So Freddy gets a bright idea and visits hockey-masked killer Jason in his sleep, convincing him to do Freddy’s dirty deeds for him. But Freddy begins losing control as Jason gets carried away with his murders, and the two killers collide in a battle to determine the ultimate king of teenage slasher flicks.
UP says: Although neither the A Nightmare on Elm Street nor Friday the 13th franchises has had a hit in decades, their match-up may be just the perfect blood-soaked, mindless movie we need to finish off the summer and return happily to FAU.
