I get phone calls.

That’s how Valentine’s Day begins. Old girlfriends calling to make sure I’m more miserable than they are. The girl I spent the night with last Valentine’s Day will be one of the calls Thursday morning.

Why should I care about Valentines Day beyond the discount boxes of chocolate at Walgreens the day after? Is it about being in love, or being nice to someone, or a $2.99 Hallmark card? Women give me no reason to love them and barely warrant kindness. Tolstoy said, “Women are to be avoided as often as possible.” Unfortunately the possibility to avoid them seldom arrives.

There’s a puzzle to this holiday. It’s most likely the inner desire of individuals to hold on to a vision they have from childhood of what true love is like. Love is not romance. Romance comes shrink-wrapped.

However, Valentine’s Day is the easiest day to try on a new pair of shoes. That’s the bunny in the puzzle.