Despite their foul stench and a cold appearance they are indispensably important to the school. I am of course talking about the bathroom facilities at FAU. Around the end of last semester they started fixing up the bathrooms, which of course meant they had to close most of them. This upset me greatly when I couldn’t find an open bathroom when nature called and I wasn’t really feeling up to going behind one of those giant palm trees. Of course my friend has a remedy for that, he just pretends he’s changing his tire (behind a car that isn’t his, of course).

This semester they are continuing the repairs on both the women’s and men’s breezeway bathrooms. Thankfully, the bathrooms in the GCS building are open for operation. Of course if you get there at the wrong time you have to wait in line. What’s more is that the bathrooms are compact, leaving no room to maneuver if more than two people happen to be in them at the same time. Of course the bathroom near the bank is also open but there isn’t that much more space offered there. Besides, it’s to far from the source of the problem, the coffee stand. The journey to that bathroom is full of flier pushers pimping this or that club to go to on this or that night. No thanks.

The bathroom that they’re busily and noisily working on is probably the most equipped in the school, or at least in that area. It’s a necessity and I know the work they’re doing is probably also just as necessary. In fact, last I remember of that disgusting room it seemed to have been falling apart and it smelled like it had died some years before. At least someone had the decency to make sure the lights were nice and dim so you didn’t have to see the cesspool that was once a bathroom. That could be why the remodeling is taking so long, God only knows how much filth and grime has to be removed just to get to the tiles.

There is no question that the remodeling has to be done since it’s the bathroom with the largest occupancy level. However, because of occupancy level and general location, the alternatives aren’t very favorable. The cafeteria, where they serve food, doesn’t have bathroom facilities, which to me is a bit asinine. It’s like that Celia Cruz song “La Vida Es Un Carnival,” and just like at a carnival it’s hard to find a good bathroom… or at least one that won’t induce vomiting upon entering it.